GameCrush: Harsh Realities

While this may seem a departure from the Social Work theme that I’m trying to establish for this blog, it’s really not. Social Work is as much about knowing yourself as it is about knowing others, and in this regard I do use this blog as a journal for self-reflection. In today’s case, it comes to an interest of mine I have always held dear: GAMING!

Reading the title, you may think that’s some clever way of me admitting that I have a crush-like relationship with gaming. You’d be wrong. GameCrush has been circling the online gaming community for some time now. I do not like this site, but I am interested in exploring some aspects of it in a bit more detail… from both ends, male and female.

What is it? (The link can be a bit unsafe for work.) In short, it is a site where guys (or girls) can pay money to play online games with women.

These women are known as “PlayDates,” and the site is set up as a sort of online dating site where the activity for that date is gaming. Clients pay to play a round of a game with a PlayDate of their choice. Then, after you have played games with these women, you are able to “rate” your PlayDate based on hotness, game skill, and flirtiness. I have so much to say on this topic that I have a hard time finding a place to start and have actually started over a myriad of times.

Thing is, this isn’t 1990. This isn’t even 2005. Girls playing video games are no longer a rarity. We are not precious gems and we are not fucking commodities just because we happen to be exploring an interest of ours. We should not be notable just because we happen to hold our XBox 360 controllers above a vagina or in front of boobage.

Yes, we are a minority, but we don’t care that we are and it’s not why we play games. Yes, we have an affinity for specific types of games but that’s only because gaming is a huge fucking interest and it’s more to do with the wide range of games out there, and that applies to both genders. Stop making us a big deal. It minimizes the validity of our interest in gaming and, perhaps worse, it makes men look really, really pathetic.

Moreover, paying to specifically play with women means you care more about playing with a girl than you do about playing a game. Why? What’s so different about women that you have to play games with one? Is it because these PlayDates will flirt with you while the girls who just happen to play on your server won’t? Is it because if you pay this girl for her attention you feel you don’t have to worry about her being distracted by other, more charismatic suitors?

Congratulations, you just purchased a prostitute. You probably won’t catch a disease or end up with baby-momma drama, but you are basically paying a woman to spend time with you and do what you want and feign interest in you. Even more appropriate to the metaphor, once the encounter ends, you will return to your earlier state, largely unchanged in any positive sort of way, and your only respite from that state is to return to the service and buy another encounter with a prostitute.

What’s that mean for girls who do sign up as PlayDates?

Simple answer: they’re perfectly normal women with low self-esteem who are looking for anything at all to make them feel like women. Maybe their interest in gaming makes them feel outcast among other women so they’re lonely and just want to hang out with someone they know want to hang out with them and will pay to do it.

That, in principle, is not uncommon. All people want to feel wanted and valued, like our time and company are worth something. Women, in particular, like feeling treasured, desired, prized… someone to be fought over. But, as insecure as we can all be, some will probably wonder whether you’re hanging out with them out of pity, obligation, or because you genuinely want to. Paying to play with these girls, then, is a way for these girls to know that you want to hang out with them bad enough to pay for them.

I can understand this, to an extent. Based on what I’ve seen of these PlayDates—which is a small percentage of the population, to be sure—these girls are all extremely insecure about their physical appearance. I will go ahead and say that I have yet to see a non-Myspace angle picture of these women. They are, very honestly, either unattractive or they are very obviously hiding parts of themselves they don’t like (or think others will not like). That speaks to them using PlayDate as the one place they can find tangible validation (MONEY) for their looks while making full use of their niche marketability: gaming.

The idea that you can rate PlayDates based on hotness/skills/flirtiness then turns the service into a glorified, “gamer” version of Hot or Not. That means the girls who sign up for the site aren’t interested in gaming, they’re interested in getting attention because they game. Your average PlayDate is probably overly concerned with earning good enough feedback so that she will attract more patrons. You not only want validation, you want lots of it. Many of these women may put themselves in competition with others to see if they are “hotter” than them based on money earned. How do I know? Because it’s what I’d do if I were signed up on this site, and it has nothing to do with my competitiveness and everything to do with my insecurity.

Fact is, if you’re actually a hot woman and a skilled gamer, you probably don’t need to a) advertise it on such a website, b) post ridiculous pictures of yourself on such a website, or c) get guys to pay to play with you using such a website. But that doesn’t mean you may not want the validation you can get from this site. It’s not empty words you’re getting from guys in-game, it’s a measurable dollar amount that can be attributed to you and your appeal as a female gamer. Hot girls, gamers or not, may still want their attractiveness reaffirmed.

What about the dudes?

The male “gamer” stereotype probably needs no introduction. Geeky, living at home, overweight, physically unattractive, socially inept, etc etc. But just like women are not actually hard to find in games if you’re not acting like a douchebag creep to the point where women don’t want to interact with you, the guys who are into games do not fit that stereotype. Yes, there are dudes who are very like it, but not all of them are. In fact, most of them aren’t that way. The existence of a service like GameCrush seems to highlight and even patronize the stereotype rather than have anything to do with the reality.

Given that, are there guys who would pay for this service? I say, absolutely. Think of OKCupid and other online dating sites. While girls will treat it as a shopping center for attention, guys will treat it as a dating service. While dudes may not strictly expect relationships to blossom when they pay for a girl to play with them, the fact is that they are paying specifically to get female interaction.

That these women also play games is GameCrush’s key advantage. Many “gamer” guys, even perfectly well-adjusted, self-respecting, charismatic ones, don’t necessarily have girlfriends who play games. Therefore, men who place “gaming” high on the list of what they’re looking for in a woman will find that GameCrush has already taken care of that for them. Or maybe some just want to see what it’s like to play games with a girl. Or maybe (and this one’s a big maybe) they are looking to play games with a “hot” girl as opposed to the run-of-the-mill “uggos” that are apparently out there. Or they could be looking for some attention from the opposite sex in an area of interest in which they feel comfortable; that’s entirely plausible (and probably most likely), too!

The fact that you can “shop around” by checking these girls out via the photos they post is, well, a point of appeal for these dudes. Plus, they, as gaming enthusiasts, clearly have disposable income to some extent. They can afford it.

Let’s put it together.

You have clientele in ample supply.

You have service providers in eager supply. Attention, flattery, compliments, being wanted, or feeling attractive/hot/sexy/beautiful… these are things plenty of women look for in general. That GameCrush is about gaming just means it gives them a bonus in attractiveness because they play games. Taking it a bit further, GameCrush also excludes a lot of competition (i.e., non-gaming girls).

Put the two together and you have a system that will, regrettably, not fail.

To be clear, I do not agree with this site’s existence in general. I find it insulting and highly patronizing. Instead of exploring our interests as human beings, we are GIRLS who are playing games that BOYS usually play and that’s somehow something to be highlighted.

Worst of all, the site’s tagline is “Be a Player.” That (and other indicators) basically means the site is selling itself as a way for gaming dudes to “show off” how many PlayDates they’ve been on.

WHAT.

Yeah, it pisses me off, but I recognize that this system will work. I might even be okay with it if the site wasn’t so obviously patronizing both client and PlayDate… but no, the way GameCrush seems to be marketed is akin in stupidity to the principles of The Game. But it’ll work; the supply and demand both exist for this product.

I hated the Fragdolls enough when I’d first heard of them. This? This is worse. And it will be more successful than the ‘Dolls ever were. Ugh.