Ironically, I Couldn’t Think of a Clever Title for This Post
Communication skills. It’s one of the first things I put down in any job application, résumé/CV, or application form. When they ask for skills or strengths, BAM, “communication” is at the top every time, and I am, perhaps paradoxically to some people, not afraid to admit that I have very good communication skills. But what does this even mean? Is it a catchphrase that you’re just expected to have in your backpack, ready to whip out at a moment’s notice when the need arises? The definition may vary from person to person, and this probably comes down to how you look at communication in general.
I view communication as a catch-all phrase for human interaction. It includes the spoken or written word, the tone in which those words are shared, and the non-verbal cues that accompany the manner in which they are delivered (when applicable). Some argue that written communication is different from spoken communication. Sure, it’s different, but it’s still under that umbrella of communication. You are imparting an idea, thought, feeling, or perspective to someone who may not share that idea, thought, feeling, or perspective.
Imagine you have two people (Ann and Ben, say) trying to share an orange but they’re getting pretty pissy about it because they both express that they want the whole thing, but they do not every specify why. In the end, they share it by cutting it in half. Ann then goes to make a tiny glass of orange juice while Ben zests off some rind to flavour a cake. It’s a basic example of poor communication. Sometimes, we’re so focused on what we want or on winning (that is, them getting what they want means we can’t have what we want) that we don’t consider how we can maybe get what we want while someone else can also get what they want.
A Fantastically Rational Dose of Self-Reflection
Have you ever had one of those moments where you look back on something that just happened and wondered how you could’ve handled it better? I’m sure we all have. Sometimes it’s that knee-jerk reaction to some sudden event and you didn’t have time to think so you just reacted… then afterwards, with some time to think, you realize that you should’ve said this and things would’ve turned out so much better. In fact, I’m pretty sure that palming yourself in the forehead when you realize how you could’ve played your cards a bit better than you did is really just life.
As we head into our fieldwork placements for the next three months, we have been reminded that a key tool for learning from these placements is to always reflect on our experience and what we might learn from it. Self-reflection, we are told over and over again, is the key to learning how to improve your practice in social work. So while we as humans certainly regret not saying this or not doing that or wondering if what we did do really was for the best, the question becomes: what can we take away from it? How do we make that regret into a learning experience?
The obvious answer seems pretty intuitive and rational: keep it in mind the next time something similar happens. But that’s not really all there is to it. Thing is, self-reflection isn’t just about what YOU did or what YOU can do the next time something similar comes up. Regardless of the incident, whether it was someone being rude to you on the train or how you facilitated a group or what you said to a client, there’s far more to learn from the experience than just “what to do better next time.”
Social Work Students and Their Apparent Speech Impediments
Okay, look, I’m really not a mean person. I will admit that I am outspoken, loud, opinionated, and impatient… but I’m not mean. For the most part. Now, given this indisputable fact, I find myself wanting to stab myself in the ears whenever certain individuals in my lectures speak up.
Owing to its nature, social work naturally demands that students be able to participate in discussions and share ideas. So, every so often, people will be prompted to voice their thoughts… or sometimes people will have something to say or ask, as per a typical class. This, in and of itself, is not a bad thing (until people start interrupting each other, but that’s something for another time). What IS a bad thing is when people stick their hands up in the air and instead of a well-formed point or coherent opinion, you hear a series of “um”s, “like”s, and “y’know”s.
I know it’s not a public speaking course nor a communications course, but come on. I would imagine that social workers are meant to be, at least on some level, articulate and able to express themselves well. Hearing a string of empty noises distracts so badly from the point you are making, which might actually be a good one, but oops no one cares because you kept telling us that “WE KNOW” when in fact we really don’t.
The counter-claim may be that social workers have plenty of time to prepare for sessions with clients. Indeed, a lot of the literature we’ve read for the course emphasizes extensive planning. But it’s not like a teacher called on you and you’re a deer stuck in headlights! You raised your hand! The implication there is that you had something to say before you did so!
My frustration with this stems purely from a lack of patience. I don’t like it when people take forever to get their point across. It’s far, far easier to just shut up and think about what you want to say and THEN say it, rather than reserve a spot in line and just wing it as the words come spilling out of your piehole. I understand that these people will probably improve their self-expression skills as they move further into the course and start their practical work, but at present, I find myself zoning out or doodling when these people start talking, if only to save the lecturer the sight of me rolling my eyes.
from a tom boy to a girly girl at the tender old age of 28
